


Cold and Broken

by scholarlydragon



Category: Lore Olympus (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Sleepless, Song Inspired, inner turmoil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-23 16:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19155115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scholarlydragon/pseuds/scholarlydragon
Summary: It’s not supposed to be like this…Set between Episodes 46 and 47





	Cold and Broken

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to Jessy and Alulah for the kickoff ideas and for editing help.
> 
> _______________
> 
> “It's not a cry you can hear at night  
> It's not somebody who's seen the light  
> It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.”  
> -“Hallelujah” Leonard Cohen

The rain had turned back to snow once more.

Hades watched the flakes fall, trying desperately not to feel, not to remember, as the tendrils of smoke curled upward from his cigarette, buffeting gently against the window glass. The dark shape in the bed, reflected in the window, was still. He leaned his head against the cold window pane, trying not to wonder if there were any stray flower petals left in the guest room.

He’d sought for hours to be as quiet and untroubled as the snowfall outside, unconcerned by thoughts of scholarships, maidenhood, laughing pink eyes, or tears on scarlet cheeks.

For hours, he’d failed.

No matter how he tried, no matter how he twisted and turned, desperately seeking a return to the dull certainty of before. When the idea of simply being  _ okay _ had been something to settle for, something with which to be content. 

Before everything had gone to shit.

With a muffled growl, he turned away from the window, padding out of the bedroom. Staying still wasn’t helping. He needed to do something, needed to push back against the feeling that he was being suffocated. It was all the more infuriating that he couldn’t have said what exactly was suffocating him.

_ Take your pick. It’s not like you have a lack of options to choose from…  _ On that day alone, from the argument with Thanatos to Tartarus to…

_ No _ .

Hades wrenched his mind back from thoughts of pink eyes twinkling with mischief over chess pieces. With the discovery of the scholarship, any chance he had, however slim, was out the window. If his crush had been inappropriate before, it was well past that now. He paced into his office, trailing a cloud of smoke. Cerberus looked up from his bed in the corner, his dark head cocked inquisitively to one side as his master paced back and forth in the office.

Life had been easier, simpler, before. Without the complicating factors of pink goddesses. Back when he could be as cold as the snowfall outside, the terrible Unseen One, without yearning for the warmth in his chest brought by simply seeing her smile…

_ Damn it, no! _

He raked his hands through his hair with a growl, ignoring Cerberus’ whine. From the moment he’d seen Persephone at the Panathenea, she’d left him reeling. Her complete openness with warmth, humor, affection… All the things he’d sworn he didn’t need. Things he’d never expected to find himself wanting. 

_ I need to put her out of my mind. _

With an effort, he wrenched his thoughts back to the nymph sleeping in the master bedroom. Minthe’s arrival after the turmoil of the day and evening had been such a tempting return to the safety of what he’d known. A retreat back to safer times when being okay was tolerable. Yet even the familiarity of her embrace had been crowded by memories and unwanted yearnings.

Only days ago, he’d been willing to settle. He’d told Zeus and Poseidon that Minthe would make an okay queen of the underworld. He let out a humorless bark of laughter. There was that word again…  _ Okay _ ... 

Minthe had cried out in his arms.  _ “Stop being nice to me!” _

The words had rung painfully in his ears at the time and even the memory of it was terrible now. He had never been what most would call nice. Never had seen a need for it, considering what most thought of him. Yet… now he’d tasted of warm regard, sweet affection. And he wanted more.

He grimaced and stubbed out his cigarette, lighting another as more memories unraveled.  _ “You think I’m better than I actually am.” _

Did he though? Hades had never really been under any illusion that his relationship with Minthe was a healthy one, but it worked for them. Two broken souls comfortable in the knowledge they could be broken together. 

Broken… 

_ It’s not supposed to be like this. _

That was the most infuriating thing Persephone had brought with her. For ages, he’d been at least somewhat content with the knowledge that he couldn’t expect better. Perhaps even shouldn’t. But the concept of ‘better’ had barged into his life without so much as a by-your-leave, in the form of a pink goddess with eager offers of affectionate friendship.

_ I don’t need it. I don’t want this. _

But there was the lie at the crux of his turmoil. He did want it. Badly. He yearned for the strange, warm and snuggly feeling that welled in his chest whenever he saw her. Needed the sight of her smile and sound of her laughter. Craved the possibility of more. Therein lay the problem. Even if it weren’t for the damnable scholarship, there was no reason to think that Persephone would ever think of him in any way beyond her inexplicable offers of friendship. Again and again, regardless of how he turned it over in his mind, there was the inescapable fact. Persephone was not his and never would be. 

He sank down in his desk chair and squeezed his eyes shut, a single tear escaping.

_ I don’t want to be just ok…  _

But the alternative was impossible. He had to claw his way back to okay and forget anything else. He took a deep breath and raised his hands to the keys of the typewriter.

“ _ Dear Persephone…” _


End file.
